I started living life at quite an early age but now I feel as if I'm abandoned somewhere behind. All my life, I have never failed to commence real brilliantly and whatever that follows, is just sheer disappointment. That would be a great reason as to why I love beginnings. I love starting afresh, I love being in a new school, new environment, building new relationships, cultivating better characteristics. NJ was a good start. At that moment, I thought I had the ability to cease the vicious cycle that I've been experiencing. Sadly, our life is composed of contrary things. Every single damn year, something would bring me down when I'm peaking. The past two years weren't spared either. Whenever I was knocked down to beneath everyone else, it always takes a toll on me. I feel pathetic, indignant and mournful about my situation. &during the period of salvaging myself, I would start pushing many people away or simply keep to myself. The road back to track is a staggering one. I try my best to pull things back to normal, back to how it started, but it would never be the same again. That is the drop of my spectacular beginning. This is just inevitable.
"When one door closes another door opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us."
-Alexander Graham Bell
I often have trouble seeking for the doors that open whenever one closes on me. In fact, there isn't any! I've never chanced upon one. To be honest, I am afraid, afraid of what is installed for me this year. Note to self, I'll be alone most of the time this year.
Nothing has begun yet and I already feel as if I've dropped.
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