Lack of updates

Pulau Ubin trip, Bao's class chalet, CNY gathering at ma place, USS for chubby's bday, Post bday celeb for chubby.

So many things happened recently and I've zero time to update.

Shall dedicate a post for each event when the plentiful time greets me.

My chubby's enlisting in like 2 days time):

&i'm only left w tomorrow to spend time w him before seeing him again after 2 whole damn weeks. My heart's gonna break into a gazillion pieces!

Need to Control My Temper

I have been so angsty this recent few days BUT you rlly can't blame me. Two fucking whores/bitches have just appeared during this CNY period. I've been so upset and angry, both at the same time. One of them, is none other than that disgusting dinosaur looking nerd that looks worse than any piece of shit that ever existed. She has a big humongous problem w her character. Spoilt. Spoilt. Spoilt. Useless. Hopeless. Brainless. Zero EQ. Spoilt. Basically she's just a spoilt brat. I can't believe such a spoilt person actually exist. I don't ever want to be associated w her nor am I ever going to initiate a conversation w such a brainless person.

I've more to add but i gtg now....to be continued.

Inching close

Only now, do I feel that time is running out. Each time the mind wanders to such a scenario, my heart aches so bad, so much so tears start streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably. I always thought there were plenty of time left, no worriers at all. It just fucking hit me that there's only about 10days left. My dad will be coming back for a week during cny which meant all the mre lesser time i've w my boyfriend. This is unfair, I'm going to be so miserable.

Vulnerable

Its okay not to be okay, sometimes its hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. No matter how much of a strong pretense you put up, how thick a mask you are wearing, it will give way. It is a matter of time. One day, just one day i'm sure i'll breakdown infront of someone even though i've never wanted to.

Yesterday was a night that i'll never ever forget for the rest of my life. It was so painful yet touching, learning that a person can actually love you so dearly. I meant the world to him.

Shall update soon!

Skinny love

is currently my fave song.

Today my boyfriend asked me if he was restricting me and were there things that i want to do but because of him, i couldn't. It took me quite awhile to think things through and there were a few. For example, i want to drink till i get drunk, i want to party late into the night etc. Basically, i just want to go crazy abit before i actually receive my dreaded results, in which i know that i'll not be able to enjoy thus after. But then, i also managed to come up w a counter-argument, were all these really necessary? Logically speaking, they aren't. But there's always a 'but' to everything. There was this small battle within myself, adding on the tiredness and menses frustration, i became a lil angsty.

Bao could tell i wasn't myself and insisted on coming to find me at tamp to cheer me up w his round face. He bought chicken wings for me, what a way to cheer me up! Before meeting him, i decided to do smth which would perk up my mood. I drove my car out of the carpark and fetched bao from Tampines central. Awesome much? Bao's my v first passenger! Headed back to my room and we watched how i met your mother. No one will ever know how safe i feel whenever he hugs me(:

I rlly ♥ him w all my heart

Fear

Actually, I am v v v afraid of what's about to come, of what's about to fall upon. I don't know who to tell, how to share because it wont be of any use anyway. Infact, the older i become, the more things there are for me to fear. I choose not to allow such emotions to surface because i'm proud like that. Never liked breaking down infront of others, never wanted them to see me at my weakest point.

I dont like being a burden to others.

Inertia

I learnt a new word! My boyfriend is my dictionary.

Cut off all the ropes and let me fall. I told myself to be patient, I told myself to be fine, I told myself to be balanced, I told myself to be kind. &then I realised I've never fail to break each time. Time after time the vicious cycle repeats itself. When will it ever be right?

Life's a little unfair

Met serene recently for seoul garden buffet @marina square, it was a good loooong meal because we just sat there for two whole hours plus eating nonstop. Meat after meat. Headed over to her place for lepak session. Painted my nails, drank koi and watched tv. She's gonna bake gingerbread for me soon (:

Had a mini eye op just ystd. I SWEAR IT FUCKING HURTS LIKE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! Worst thing that has ever happened to me i promise. I'm never ever x100000 gonna undergo that shit again. It hurt so badly that i cried throughout the whole thing and awhile after it was done. I felt so so miserable. Apparently, both my eyes had balls and were infected. The left eye lower lid has a ball while the right eye upper lid has three small balls and the right lower lid has a humongous ball. I've never had this before and suddenly they all surfaced together. My boyfriend came to dote on me later, sucha darling ♥

TADA!

Dumb or dumb

Fucking chinaman kept on brushing his disgusting ass against my arm! Dumbshit.

Omg im so so tired, i hope i survive today's driving!

Edited//

Yay, i survived today! I'm becoming happier bit by bit. The less uptight i am over things, the more carefree i feel. The more attached you are, the more disappointed you will be. All i've done is just care less and be satisfied w simple things. I certainly know who my true friends are(:

I utterly dislike irresponsible people thou.

As sweet as an angel

So it turned out that my bao did not wait for me for 100mins for my last driving lesson, instead he got himself lost (he wasnt familiar w that area) while trying to get colour papers to make a 4-page long card for his dearest, me! This cheeky bao managed to sneak out of the driving centre and back in again, 10 minutes before my lesson ended &managed to sit himself back at the same seat where i left him. Just lika squirrel scurrying around, adorable much.

Lemme share w you guys one paragraph which i nearly vomit blood yet awwwww-ed! It goes like this:

"You're like my christmas tree, your hair is so nice it looks like tree leaves and branches, your eyes sparkle so much they look like the christmas balls on christmas trees, and your love for me is the greatest present below the tree. Awww i'm so sweet. Merry Christmas! I'll be your sweet angel forever!"

(He drew a christmas tree w all the descriptions above and even label them! He drew ants too, to show how sweet he was :o Basically he was trying to prove to me his poetry talent which obviously failed so so badly! HAHA)

&&&HE DREW A PICTURE OF US IN WHICH I LOOKED TOTALLY LIKE A PIG! omigod! haha but i really ♥ what he wrote and drew for me, too cute not to love!

Btw these are my painted nails in which my baby insisted on painting! They look quite good actually(:

My boyfriend really is one of a kind man!